TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
