I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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