I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is the high leading the old right now
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
