never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
