So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
