I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
