you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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