ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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