well I can't set my house on fire every night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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