i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
