The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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