Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
