Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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