can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
