I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
