I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
