i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
