went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
