There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
