I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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