I must be too annoying 4 u.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
