so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
