i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
