I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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