can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
