OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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