I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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