also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
