Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
These tits shall not be calmed
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