ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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