yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize