what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
