i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
