Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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