i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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