i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
