I cannot find my penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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