I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
two words...techno handjob
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
