Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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