This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
