After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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