Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
