I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
