I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
