zippers are such a cool invention
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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