The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.