So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.