You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
