Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
