why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
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