VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
