Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
