I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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