i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
