this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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